I was so lucky to have my grandparents Ben Rigor and Fely Rigor, they raised my up since I was born and took care of me until their last breath. If not for them, I won’t be where I am now. I never got a chance to tell them thank you for raising me up and never got a chance to say sorry for all the bad things I have done. They have always been by my side even I was not able to finished my studies. They didn’t get angry but still showed me how much they loved me and supported me.
I can still remember when I was still a kid that I would cry when I wanted a toy and they just can’t bear me crying and will buy me what I want. My grandpa was my playmate when he have free time, he would play with me at the park and with my Atari. They give me whatever I want to eat even they will just eat whatever I left.
They treated me as their 4th child and there are lots of relative were jealous on how they have treated me. There’s nothing I can do, I grew up with them and it’s not my fault if they have treated me that way and I was hoping my relatives would understand it.
I got accused by my relatives that I was not there by their side when they are sick, especially when my grandpa got rushed to the hospital and got admitted in ICU. They just don’t know how I felt that time. Seeing my most beloved grandpa lying in bed and having a hard time, I just can’t bear to see him like that so I refused to stay in the ICU and rather stay at the parking lot and sleep in the car. I was so scared to lose him and I don’t want to lose him. After almost a month in the hospital, God have taken him away. Losing him was the hardest thing to accept, I cried almost every night during his burial though I know that he is in God’s hand.
After few years, my grandma passed away as well. She was suffering from Alzheimer and can’t hardly recognize people. I left to work at Taiwan that time, my mom and sister told me that she always says my name. I know she can’t remember the grown up Paul because even when I am in front of her she still can’t recognize me. I was thinking due to her condition, she might have the image of little Paul when I was still a kid.
I missed them so much, how I wish I could bring back the time and show them how much I love them and how sorry I am for all the bad things I’ve done. I love you both so much and thank you both for the unconditional love.